Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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