Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
