I didn't shave. On purpose
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
