OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
