3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
