normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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