chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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