I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
