im gay
i know
yea but for you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
