my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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