Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
