Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Randomize
