nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
