i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
