i don't like sucking hair
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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