You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
