he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
