had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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