they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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