mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
