this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
