the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
