I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just cropdusted the office
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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