I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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