Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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