This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
