can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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