I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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