you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
