so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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