is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
