I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
