I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
