He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
