the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
