ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
