considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
