just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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