thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
