either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
