As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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