oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
