Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am one with the molecules
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
