You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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