i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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