I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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