why didn't you poke me back
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
