I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
