so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
