FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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