Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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