how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
