Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
