I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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